WEBVTT
00:00:00.020 --> 00:00:01.493
Imagine if marriage didn't exist,
00:00:01.493 --> 00:00:05.406
and you're a guy, and you ask a woman to get married.
Imagine what that conversation would be like.
00:00:05.410 --> 00:00:08.933
You'd be like "Hey, so, um,
you know, we've been hangin' out together all the time,
00:00:08.933 --> 00:00:10.900
spending a lot of time together and everything."
00:00:10.900 --> 00:00:12.672
[In woman's voice.]
"Yeah yeah, I know."
00:00:12.672 --> 00:00:15.503
[In man's voice]
"I wanna keep doin' that 'til you're dead."
00:00:15.503 --> 00:00:20.455
[ Audience laughs. ]
00:00:20.465 --> 00:00:22.663
[Imitating woman] "Wh--what??"
00:00:22.844 --> 00:00:26.026
[As man] "I wanna keep hangin' out
with you 'til one of us dies."
00:00:26.046 --> 00:00:27.728
[ Audience laughs. ]
00:00:27.728 --> 00:00:31.063
[As man] "Put this ring on your finger
so people know we have an arrangement."
00:00:31.063 --> 00:00:32.468
[ Audience laughs. ]
00:00:32.468 --> 00:00:35.364
[As woman]
"Wh...wh... who's that guy?"
00:00:35.364 --> 00:00:37.986
[As man] "He's a priest.
00:00:37.986 --> 00:00:40.938
"I want you to swear to God
you won't back out of this deal."
00:00:40.938 --> 00:00:43.230
[ Audience laughs and applauds. ]
00:00:43.230 --> 00:00:45.876
[As woman]
"Wh... what's he wheeling in?"
00:00:45.876 --> 00:00:48.734
[As man]
"It's a cake with two tiny dolls that look like us."
00:00:48.734 --> 00:00:50.762
[ Audience laughs. ]
00:00:50.762 --> 00:00:52.130
"EAT A SLICE!!!"
00:00:52.130 --> 00:00:53.758
[ Audience laughs. ]
00:00:53.758 --> 00:00:58.138
"Now feed a little bit to me!"
[Munching noises.] [Audience laughs.]
00:00:58.138 --> 00:01:02.060
[As woman]
[Sobbing.] "This is really strange!"
00:01:02.164 --> 00:01:03.948
"Why are we doing this??"
00:01:05.120 --> 00:01:06.939
[As man]
"Tax purposes."
00:01:06.939 --> 00:01:08.831
[ Audience laughs and applauds. ]