[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.83,0:00:08.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[MUSIC: Sunglasses At Night by Corey Hart...]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.98,0:00:23.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I was born into the right body
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.99,0:00:28.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was just the like most like useless airquotes ever
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.43,0:00:30.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I was born into the "right" body.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.16,0:00:34.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would probably either be a trans man
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.40,0:00:36.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or like a lesbian separatist.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.74,0:00:38.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would probably live like in the woods
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.73,0:00:40.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,worship the mother goddess
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.57,0:00:45.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and invent little guillotines to cut off penises
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.21,0:00:46.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's probably what I would do.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.78,0:00:50.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Um, I sort of like being trans.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.58,0:00:52.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.29,0:00:57.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you mean into a body that might get me laid more?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.42,0:00:59.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I kind of like my body.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.69,0:01:02.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think I understand this question.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.82,0:01:05.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if YOU were born into the right body?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.30,0:01:11.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My real name is John Denver.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.28,0:01:15.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Um, well, it's actually funny um it's funny that you ask that
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.71,0:01:18.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was actually raised by wolves,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.08,0:01:24.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so my real name, my like given name is really hard to pronounce, um, in English.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.05,0:01:25.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[MAKING WOLF SOUNDS:]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.99,0:01:30.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whoooooowoowowhoooooo...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.62,0:01:33.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It roughly translates as Shadow of the Wind, um
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.26,0:01:35.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I don't really know why that was an appropriate name for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.66,0:01:38.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My real name is John Tesh.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.26,0:01:42.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're wolves. Everything's "the wind" something
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.62,0:01:47.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know, have you had surgery yet?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.74,0:01:51.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not trying to be mean here, but, it wouldn't hurt you.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.24,0:01:52.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this area.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.84,0:01:53.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all I'm saying.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.11,0:01:56.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't actually talk about this with a lot of people cuz it's kind of uncomfortable.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.98,0:02:01.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was 13, um, sorry, this is really hard...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.36,0:02:04.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, actually I have had surgery.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.26,0:02:08.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had surgery right after I bought a yacht
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.100,0:02:12.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and some um Faberge eggs
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.27,0:02:13.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which are not very tasty.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.27,0:02:19.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got this surgery because I had this really bad ingrown toenail
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.14,0:02:24.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was really nasty, it was pusy and green, it was really embarrassing
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.61,0:02:26.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was disgusting
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.35,0:02:32.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had to go to a podiatrist, they had to drain all of this shit out of it
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.25,0:02:33.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the green yellow nasty stuff
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.35,0:02:37.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Um but yeah, I had surgery and then I bought a house and, um,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.33,0:02:40.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well, a mansion, and I bought a baseball team.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.39,0:02:41.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're not doing very well.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.63,0:02:43.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess I need to start talking about it, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.72,0:02:48.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cause I just feel that it's really dishonest of me to hide things from you
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.27,0:02:51.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because everyone deserves to know about these things.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.30,0:02:55.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But yeah, I've had surgery, all kinds of surgery.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.04,0:02:57.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had um a new index finger installed
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.64,0:03:01.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's made out of granite. It's hard to bend.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.32,0:03:12.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I actually signed a legal document saying that I would never reveal my real voice again.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.96,0:03:17.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of the benefits and one of the problems with being a trans woman
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.70,0:03:21.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that going on hormones doesn't actually like change your voice.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.64,0:03:24.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So for here it actually helps though
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.07,0:03:31.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I can get my voice back down to kind of the register it was at before I transitioned
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.11,0:03:32.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[CLEARS THROAT]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.45,0:03:36.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, let me just, let me just prepare for a second.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.32,0:03:37.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[IN A LOWER, MECHANICAL-SOUNDING VOICE]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.28,0:03:38.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It sounded a lot like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.65,0:03:42.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Um, it sounded just like the devil, um
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.66,0:03:47.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and actually uh actually I was the devil for a little bit
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.73,0:03:54.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Um, and then I realized that I was really uncomfortable with myself
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.50,0:03:56.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I needed to be true to myself
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.17,0:03:59.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I realized that I was just a woman trapped in a demon's body.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.28,0:04:06.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My real voice is so sexy, so hot, that one day I was at home
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.21,0:04:10.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this big black van with no windows pulled up out front,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.52,0:04:13.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,six people got out with like suits and dark sunglasses and all
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.95,0:04:15.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they came into the house
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.39,0:04:17.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they uh put a bag over my head
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.39,0:04:18.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and put me out in the van and drove away
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.69,0:04:22.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I actually had to go to this government vocal retraining program
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.66,0:04:24.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Apparently there was about to be an economic collapse in the US
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.96,0:04:29.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because my voice was so sexy that nobody could get anything done.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.68,0:04:32.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.47,0:04:33.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.64,0:04:35.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I have a cunt
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.58,0:04:37.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that makes me a man.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.91,0:04:38.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes I am.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.78,0:04:41.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, definitely, definitely, definitely no. 100%
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.89,0:04:48.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. Yes, I'm definitely one of those.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.05,0:04:49.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Depending on who's talking.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.90,0:04:52.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to go with option C.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.03,0:04:54.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, I am.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.73,0:04:56.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.53,0:05:02.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh my gaaaaawwwd. I'm sorry!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.93,0:05:03.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Come here
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.43,0:05:04.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's talk.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.27,0:05:05.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's talk about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.76,0:05:08.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ohhhh. You're having a hard time?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.78,0:05:10.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This might make you feel better.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.74,0:05:12.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here, lemme, lemme hold you.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.18,0:05:13.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, just a little bit closer
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.79,0:05:15.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I feel bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.45,0:05:16.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pronouns!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.21,0:05:16.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.86,0:05:17.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who's yer pronoun!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.49,0:05:24.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a really traumatic childhood, um
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.42,0:05:27.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[BREATHES OUT HEAVILY]
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.90,0:05:29.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Um, it's actually really hard for me to talk about.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.73,0:05:32.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My stepmother used to make me
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.73,0:05:34.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mow the lawn.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.13,0:05:36.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, so when I was a kid
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.44,0:05:39.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had really bad acne, really bad skin,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.15,0:05:41.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was really really hard.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.07,0:05:43.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think I just didn't want to deal with my acne
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.15,0:05:44.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and finally it was like
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.01,0:05:49.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Alright! I'm trans! I'm trans. I have acne and I'm trans!"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.52,0:05:54.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I would have to use like a leaf blower and blow off the driveway
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.76,0:05:59.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[BREATHES OUT HEAVILY]
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.36,0:06:02.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once I sort of like dealt with the whole acne/trans thing
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.30,0:06:04.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things got like easier and my skin cleared up
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.40,0:06:10.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I've actually recently had -no thanks to Julie Blair- but sort of I've broken out again
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.67,0:06:12.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But here's the thing
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.14,0:06:13.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not trans anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.81,0:06:15.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The event that really sealed it for me
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.91,0:06:17.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,really made me realize that I was trans was
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.84,0:06:20.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we had to lay down mulch once
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.51,0:06:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and, yknow it was like 300 pounds of mulch
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.28,0:06:24.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it took all day
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.48,0:06:27.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it was really sweaty and dirty and grose and we didn't get paid
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.65,0:06:29.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and, it was just horrible
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.89,0:06:32.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my sisters spent all day
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.56,0:06:36.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eating bonbons and watching Lifetime
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.60,0:06:38.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's when I realized that was the life I wanted.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.56,0:06:42.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's when I realized I wanted to be a girl.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.04,0:06:49.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was raised in the church, Catholic,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.58,0:06:52.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we were always tought to you know
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.61,0:06:53.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we should be giving to each other,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.91,0:06:55.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we should be giving back to the world
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.78,0:07:01.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I decided that I wanted to donate parts of my body to the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.12,0:07:04.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Especially information about my body to the world. Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.29,0:07:09.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For my whole life, um, I've just felt really uncomforable with
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.16,0:07:12.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how few tentacles I've had.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.23,0:07:15.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've always felt like I should have been born with more tentacles.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.84,0:07:19.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My titties are an offering to mankind
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.11,0:07:22.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which actually translates into a direct ticket to heaven.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.58,0:07:26.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Catholic church is actually thinking about making me a saint for just, for martyring myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.18,0:07:31.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unfortunately you know modern science has only come so far
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.02,0:07:38.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I figured that physically transitioning was the next best thing to being
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.82,0:07:49.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a beautiful, majestic octopus, swimming the seven seas, inking things that attacked me.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.77,0:07:55.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually, every time I'm in bed with somebody
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.81,0:07:58.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can only think two words
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.75,0:08:01.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they just run through my head over and over and over again
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.88,0:08:03.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and those words are
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.86,0:08:05.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pity fuck
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.52,0:08:10.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Sunglasses At Night by Corey Hart...]
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.89,0:08:19.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[LAUGHING and UNCLEAR...]
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.42,0:08:22.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fuck you.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.67,0:08:28.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[MORE WOLF SOUNDS]
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.78,0:08:35.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[LAUGHING AND UNCLEAR...]
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.06,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cunt. Man. Mancunt? Man cu..., cunt man.