WEBVTT

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– I bought something from you last week, and I'm very disappointed.

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– Oh yeah? What's the problem?

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– Yeah, well, my blackberry is not working.

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[laughter, applause]

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– What's the matter, it run out of juice?

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[laughter]

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– No, no, it's completely frozen!

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[knocking on table]

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– Oh, yeah, I can see that.

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I tell you what: let's try it on orange.

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[laughter]

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– That's got a few black spots, you see...

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– Oh, dear, yes. Sorry about that.

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– Well, is there anything I can do to get my blackberry working?

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– Well, could be an application issue.

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Where'd you store that Blackberry?

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– Well, it was on my desktop.

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– Well, you could try using a mouse to drag the blackberry to the trash.

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[laughter]

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Then after you've done that,

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you might wanna launch the blackberry from the desktop.

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[laughter]

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– Well, I've already tried that a few times.

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I mean, all it did was mess up windows.

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[laughter]

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– [clears throat] Well, it might be worth waiting a couple of weeks.

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They've got the latest blackberries coming in then.

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– Well, could you give me a date?

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– Certainly.

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[laughter]

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– Let me put that date in my diary.

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[laughter]

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– Anything else I can help you with?

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– Yes, yes. I've also got a problem, to be honest,

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with my apple.

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[laughter]

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– Oh, dear, oh, dear. That is an old apple, isn't it?

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– Yeah. – When'd you buy that?

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– Last week.

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– Last week? They've brought out two new apples since then!

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[laughter]

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What's the problem with it?

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– Well, I tried to put my dongle in it...

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[laughter]

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and it won't fit.

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– Oh, yeah.

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[laughter]

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And how big's your dongle?

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– Well, I don't know much about these things,

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but my wife's seen a few dongles in her time...

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[laughter]

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and she says a little bit on the small side.

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[laughter]

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– Well, I'm afraid there's not a lot I can do about that.

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Tell you what: let me try booting it.

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[glass shatters]

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Now it's crashed.

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[laughter, applause]

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Anything else I can help you with?

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– Well, funnily enough, yes.

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My grandson's birthday's soon. – Oh, yeah.

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– Now, he's already got an apple and a blackberry.

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I mean, have you got anything else that he might just like?

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– Well, we're doing a special offer on these.

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I mean, I can't make head or tail of them,

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but the kids seem to like them.

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– Oh yeah? – "Eggs box," £3.60.

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[laughter]