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The Dover Boys at Pimento University or
"The Rivals of Roquefort Hall"

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Pimento University

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Pimento U.

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Good old P.U.

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♪ Pimento U. Oh, sweet P.U. ♪

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♪ Thy fragrant odor scents the air. ♪

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♪ A pox on Yale. ♪

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♪ Poo poo, Perdue. ♪

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♪ Pimento U., my college fair. ♪

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Out and away,
the most popular fellows at...

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Out and away,
the most popular fellows at old P. U.

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are the three Dover boys.

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Tom, the fun-loving member of the trio.

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Dick, a serious lad of 18 summers,
plus a winter in Florida,

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as related in
The Dover boys in the Everglades.

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And Larry, the youngest
of the three jerks... brothers.

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A gay outing at the park
has been planned by the merry trio

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and they are off to fetch their fiancée,
Dainty Dora Standpipe

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at Miss Cheddars' female academy,
close by.

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With their usual punctuality,

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the boys arrive
at the appointed hour of 3:00.

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Yoohoo! Yoohoo! Yoohoo!

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And are soon on their rollicking way.

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Forced to pass a certain public house,

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a tavern of unsavory repute,

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our young friends
meet the distressing situation

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with their usual
uncompromising, moral fortitude.

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Little do they know that even now,
within this very tavern,

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Dan Backslide,
the former sneak of Roquefort Hall,

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coward, bully, cad, and thief,

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and arch enemy of the Dover boys,
squanders his misspent life.

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Hark, the Dover boys. Drat them.

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Double drat them.

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They are escorting Dora Standpipe.

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Dear, rich, Dora Standpipe!

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How I love her...

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father's money.

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Confound those Dover boys!

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Oh, how I hate them!

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I hate Tom! I hate Dick! And I hate Larry!

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They drive me to drink!

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Confound them. [hiccups]

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Con... found them!

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But let us draw the curtain
on this sordid scene,

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and turn to more pleasant surroundings,

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where we find our young friends
engaged in a spirited game

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of hide-go-and-seek.

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15, 20, 25, 30, 35...

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No! No! In here!

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No, up here! Up here!

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No! No! Over here! Over here!

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Over here!

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In here!

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No! No! In here!

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No, in here!

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Over here!

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In here!

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No! Here!

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In Here!

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No! Here!

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510, 515...

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Over here! Over here!

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No, over here!

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In here!

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Opps, sorry.

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Over here!

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No, no, over here!

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Over here!

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Over here!

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Over here!

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No! In here!

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The Dover boys.

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Then Dora must be alone and unprotected!

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A runabout. I'll steal it!
No one will ever know!

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1,250, 1,255...

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..1,490, 1,500.

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Here I come, ready or not.

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Help! Help!

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Save me!

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Help, Tom!

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Help, Dick!

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Help, Larry!

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[gasping]

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Help! Help! Save me! Save me!

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Help! Help! Save me! Save me! Help!

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Help!

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Help! Help! Help! Tom!

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Help! Save me!

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Help! Larry!

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Poor Dora, will no one save her
from this predicament?

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Will no one come to her assistance?

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But hold on! What's this?

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It looks like an alert young Scout.

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And that's just what it is.

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He'll not fail her, I'll venture.

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Telegram for the Dover boys.
Messrs. Tom, Dick, and Larry,

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care of Wayward Tavern,
Upper Bottleneck, New York.

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Sirs, quote, HELP!, unquote. Signed Dora.

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35 cents collect.

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Help! Help! Help! Help!

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Save me! Save me!

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Save me! Help! Save me!

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Help! Help! Save me! Save me!

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Help! Help! Help! Save me!

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Help, Tom!

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Help, Dick!

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Help, Larry!

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♪ Oh Dora dear, sweet Dora dear, ♪

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♪ Keep courage up and chin up high. ♪

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♪ The stalwart sons of old P.U. ♪

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♪ Are here at hand to do or die. ♪

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P.U., P.U., we're all for you, yeah, boom!

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Unhand her, Dan Backslide.

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Unhand her, Dan Backslide.

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Unhand her, Dan Backslide.

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Hey, we're getting in a rut.

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Stand up and fight,
you coward, bully, cad, and thief.

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Oh, you haven't been thrashed enough yet, eh?

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And now it is time to say goodbye.

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Goodbye.

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