Aziz Ansari: BURIED ALIVE - "Marriage is an Insane Proposal" - Netflix (HD)

0:00 - 0:01

Imagine if marriage didn't exist,
0:01 - 0:05

and you're a guy, and you ask a woman to get married.
Imagine what that conversation would be like.
0:05 - 0:09

You'd be like "Hey, so, um,
you know, we've been hangin' out together all the time,
0:09 - 0:11

spending a lot of time together and everything."
0:11 - 0:13

[In woman's voice.]
"Yeah yeah, I know."
0:13 - 0:16

[In man's voice]
"I wanna keep doin' that 'til you're dead."
0:16 - 0:20

[ Audience laughs. ]
0:20 - 0:23

[Imitating woman] "Wh--what??"
0:23 - 0:26

[As man] "I wanna keep hangin' out
with you 'til one of us dies."
0:26 - 0:28

[ Audience laughs. ]
0:28 - 0:31

[As man] "Put this ring on your finger
so people know we have an arrangement."
0:31 - 0:32

[ Audience laughs. ]
0:32 - 0:35

[As woman]
"Wh...wh... who's that guy?"
0:35 - 0:38

[As man] "He's a priest.
0:38 - 0:41

"I want you to swear to God
you won't back out of this deal."
0:41 - 0:43

[ Audience laughs and applauds. ]
0:43 - 0:46

[As woman]
"Wh... what's he wheeling in?"
0:46 - 0:49

[As man]
"It's a cake with two tiny dolls that look like us."
0:49 - 0:51

[ Audience laughs. ]
0:51 - 0:52

"EAT A SLICE!!!"
0:52 - 0:54

[ Audience laughs. ]
0:54 - 0:58

"Now feed a little bit to me!"
[Munching noises.] [Audience laughs.]
0:58 - 1:02

[As woman]
[Sobbing.] "This is really strange!"
1:02 - 1:04

"Why are we doing this??"
1:05 - 1:07

[As man]
"Tax purposes."
1:07 - 1:09

[ Audience laughs and applauds. ]

Title:: Aziz Ansari: BURIED ALIVE - "Marriage is an Insane Proposal" - Netflix (HD)
Description:: Marriage is an insane proposal. Watch an exclusive clip from Aziz Ansari's newest standup special "Buried Alive," coming exclusively to Netflix on November 1.

Previous Aziz Ansari standup specials streaming now at http://netflix.com.
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Captions by the Radical Access Mapping Project
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Video Language:: English
Duration:: 01:10

	Retired user edited English subtitles for Aziz Ansari: BURIED ALIVE - "Marriage is an Insane Proposal" - Netflix (HD)
	Radical Access Mapping Project edited English subtitles for Aziz Ansari: BURIED ALIVE - "Marriage is an Insane Proposal" - Netflix (HD)

English subtitles